Coaching Tips

Being “pulled by inspiration” is more than being “pushed by motivation”.

Motivation is the beginning, inspiration is the “neverending”.

Realizing projects is more than reaching goals. Goals are the midsteps to big projects.

This is the lesson of mindvalley coaching, that I find interesting. I guess this is what motivates researchers, athletes and any person feeling part of a bigger project, even daily life people, feeling part of a religuois or cultural group working for some projects. This is the motivational fundamental powerful key attracting people and moving them together. This is what oponion leaders are usually aware of, in history. The leader conducting the army needs to make the soldiers feel part of a project. Depending how you interpret project, you aggregate people and decide the distribution of energy in the world, therefore the distribution of wealth. turning back to individuals, you can not get of depression or of any psycosomatioc desease or status of unwellness without a project. Sanitary treatment and medical  findings are a mean to temporary body soothing, while the stable and complete healing will happen finding a source of inspiration changing bad habits.  There is no list of to do or don’t. Each individual needs to write his own list of to do’s and don’t, according to his expectations from his life. Nobody can judge. It is something very intimate between the individual and what he sees in the mirror or what he would like to see when he watches in the mirror.

Coach Yourself First” and “Taste YourselfFirst” are two coaching tips that I love. It is a modern way to say “know yourself”, a more effective way to approach yourself as “knowing” relates too much to intellectual area, while “coaching” and “tasting” calls you to action, immediately, action towards yourself, going far beyond knowledge or, as you may see it, rooting the knowledge of yourself from concrete action, from facts.

As I had the opportunity to assist to some athletes and managers testimonials, I could add some simple tips, that really makes the difference between a “good you” and a “great you”, a “successful you”.

Interferences are to be watched out. Interferences are the most dangerous obstacles between the “good you” and the “great you”. You have to sit down and set priorities. Priorities for everything, especially for simple things and daily duties. After having listened to several Olympic young champions, during an international coach event, such as Nicola Dutto, Bebe Vio, Elisa di Francisca, Gianmarco Tamberi, Roberto Cammarere, I came to conclusion that the greatest interferences are your own fatigue, having a physical aspect of real tiredness and a psychological aspect needing motivation or inspiration, and heavy distractions coming from the outside world. Athletes have all been very explicit on fatigue, while nobody, usually, speaks of the social interferences. On fatigue they say: “I learned to train tiredness itself”, “I transformed delusion into fuel for the next match”, “Choose an activity, where you are happy to bear tiredeness”. They also make clear that you have to establish a new balance with your body. Usually, athletes have a material supportive surrounding that might be psychologically challenging, as they also have to face expectations of the team working for them, of family and friends, as they exchange delegation of material daily life with psychological and emotional expectations. They do not speak of this delicate issue. Champions are thankful. What happens when someone has worked hard and has not become a champion for a some points or millimeters or seconds? It would be interesting to interview the losers on interferences, as I am not so sure they would be thanking. I would rather guess they would say things like: “when I understood I listened the wrong advice, it was too late” as I lost the competitive time that makes the difference.

The fact is that you first have to ask yourself if you are training for your wellness or for a competition as competitions have dates. Competitions are set around numbers. Therefore, you have to “know your Numbers“, as said in a coaching event by Foxx, and I would personally add, according to my experience, you have to “know your Space“, as you firstly have to understand which is the area, the physical and emotional area, where you will develop your abilities and you will train. People are part of your space. Landscape is part of your space. Administration of daily life and Technology are part of your space, as they take your time. Once you set the goals, the “emotional and physical surrounding” can be support or interfere, therefore, if you are rooted, you should ask the surrounding itself, in particular to “your” people, to take a position and choose whether support you or, please, try not to interfere. The most difficult aspect is with administration.

Daily life also is set on numbers. Numbers are not cold. Numbers provoke emotions, as they might have legal and compulsory value, changing, de facto, your reality. Upon numbers you afford your practical life, what you eat, what you wear, what you do, where you live, how you love. Yes, numbers impact on love and feelings. They make you decide your values, confirming or changing them. Certain numbers are decided by people, others by law. So, once again: “know your numbers” is one of the most easy and, meanwhile, hard, useful tips I could give, as part of the “CoachYourself”.

About goals

You are the boss of your life.

You should learn to treat your yourself as you were a person for each role: a mother/father, a professional, a boss/employee. Even if you are an employee, your Boss is you, as you may decide to resign and change job.

Focus on goal al coach yourself without losing time in “small things”, those things that are designed to gather people as numbers, such as socializing with people you would never share an intimate glance or a sincere smile. Which people make you smile? Which people teach you anything? Which people make you feel comfortable? Which people stimulate you? Choose people who enhance your brain and personality and live any other relation.

Time is limited. Give a value to your time and go for higher goals. Work hard, play hard, select and go ahead. Never stop. Keep going. Your life changed the moment you decided to cut with the Old You.

Build your new network as a company leader not as a housewife. See yourself as a company. You pay taxes, you are a company.

If you did not reach the primary goal, do not worry, just change goal, as all the training you seriously made will be useful for a different one.

Experience matters. Consistency matters. Do not waste your job, never. Your job is precious.

Strength is within you, abilities evolve continuously. Change your view and fix a new goal, making a treasure out of your experience and energy. “Fix and go”.

About Freud and Jung

Do not avoid to investigate explicitly your sexual identity and history, as it is absolutely inevitable that your erotic energy, the strongest energy humans have, will drive your actions and desires into specific direction in every field of your life. It is intimate.It might be hard. It is only on you.

Any expert would be driven by you, your memories, your views, your desires, your e-motions, your answering to questions, therefore, firstly, it is your decision to investigate.

Take that decision. If your goals are challenging, long term and you are more than thirty years old, face your sexuality. You could win several sport competitions and become a champion, without facing your sexuality, as you could simply put the issue apart, as an interference, but you will not have access to Wellness.

About Others

Finding your space and meeting the New You may cause you to completely change your network. If you really want to change and you realize that one of the reason preventing you to really succeed where people around you, binding you with the chains of their expectations and experiences, disregarding your deep needs, then be ready to loose everybody, literally everybody. It may be very difficult as people are linked not only by feelings, but also by economical and legal interests, therefore changing your habits may have consequences on their financial planning. Changing your life, you may bother someone else reputation or planning, no matter if it is someone from the family, the company or simply a friend.

For this reason you must be present, centered, focused on yourself, rooted in your motivation and ready to “the unknown”.

You will have to make space to new things and new people and decide what to do with old ones. It will not be easy. Nobody could help you but you. The choice will be yours. The only tip I can give you is to be clear with everybody: treat people as officially as possible, releasing clear statements and asking to clearly take position. You have no time to wait for understanding, you need to provoke clear reactions and make people make their own choices in the same time as yours. Time is your concern, not content. No matter who will be or not be with you, what matters is timing: too late is too late. Decisions must be taken right when you are transitioning, not after. Who decides after is weak and not trustful. If someone knows you from the past, that person must decide during transition, basing on the history and current facts. No cowards or opportunists shall be allowed in your new life, if you are changing life.

No conditions precedent possible. Only bets.


IT: I meccanismi dell’energia per il miglioramento sono sostanzialmente due: ci si può motivare per raggiungere degli obiettivi, spingendo dunque noi stessi verso un obiettivo oppure ci si può lasciar attrarre e tirare verso una nostra fonte di ispirazione, della quale i singoli obiettivi per cui ci motiviamo sono fasi intermedie.

Raggiungere uno stato di benessere, trovare una via, o andare via da una situazione per iniziarne una nuova, significa in fondo riuscire ad ispirarci a qualcosa che ci nutre e che non si esaurisce mai. Rimettersi in forma, in questo senso, è un obiettivo intermedio. Una volta in forma, oltre a mantenerla, col nuovo benessere raggiunto dovremo andare oltre, attirati da qualcosa che ci chiederà di raggiungere altri obiettivi intermedi, di volta in volta superiori o diversi. Niente paura, questo non significa dover vivere nel futuro, un futuro che potrebbe non arrivare mai, significa vivere il presente seguendo una ispirazione, che, per sua natura, non ha tempo. Lo comprendono ricercatori, atisti, atleti che si pongono obiettivi intermedi per raggiungere obiettivi finali più alti. Lo comprendono anche leader carismatici e capi di stato, consapevoli che le persone si aggregano quando sentono di fare parte di un progetto superiore. Non esiste uan lista di cose da fare o da non fare, una tavola di dieci comandamenti o una scrittura valida per tutti. Ognuno deve redigere la pripria lista di cose da fare e da non fare giardandosi allo specchio e decidendo se quello che vede è ciò che lo soddisfa o se sente di volere di più. Non si tratta dui imamgine estetica, si tratta di proiezione di noi stessi nel mondo. Si parte dallo specchio, dall’essere consapevoli di come siamo, da quello che il mondo vede di noi e da come noi vogliamo essere visti. Il dovere che abbiamo verso noi stessi è di informarci, sceliere la nostra strada con consapevolezza, non dover mai dire “se avessi saputo, avrei fatto”, quando il dovere di informazione era di nostra responsabilità. Quando informarci “fa male”, perchè capiamo che stiamo sbagliando, dobbiamo accettare di dover cambiare, ma non rifiutare la verità alla luce delle nuive informazioni. Dobbiamo portare rispetto a noi stessi ed al nostro progetto di realizzarci.

Nella pratica quotidiana, la via verso il benessere è fatta di tanti piccoli o grandi passi attraverso letture in grado di motivarci, cambiarci, supportarci, confortarci. Dai libri di letteratura classica, ai testi delle canzoni, frasi e persone in grado di muovere le nostre emozioni e darci la motivazione per fare quello che facciamo fatica a fare. Le difficoltà si nascondono spesso nelle cose semplici: organizzare bene una giornata, alzarci all’ora giusta, scegliere l’appuntamento più importante, mangiare o non mangiare un certo alimento, ascoltare o non ascoltare alcune voci, rispondere o non rispondere ad alcune provocazioni, stimoli o interferenze.

Penso alla Nike, campionessa nel lavoro sui significati ed i simbolim che ha conquistato il mondo con un baffo, un segno dismpunta, un accento ed un “just do it” “Fallo e basta”.

Foto scattata nel negozio Nike di Stazione Termini, Roma.